We don’t always get what we want, and I’ve started to accept that win-win scenarios are rarely encountered in everyday life.

Your time is limited, and your psyche is divided.

Different parts want different things, and not every part of you will be satisfied with every decision, for example:

- One part of you might want to be outside and offline for an entire week, but another part of you knows you need to be near your phone for work.

- One part of you might want to spend more time with friends or loved ones, but another part knows that you’re improving your finances and it would be wise to work more hours.

- Or maybe there’s a part of you which wants to dissolve or improve an important relationship, or perhaps two different parts which feel like they’re fighting for incompatible outcomes.

We say that we want compassion and complexity, but it’s extremely difficult to resist the unconscious urge to sacrifice your multiplicity for either side of the black-and-white conflict.

Nobody wants to endure the tension of the opposites, even if we know the process will facilitate greater psychological maturity.

If you feel torn between your intentions, if your wants are multiple and conflicting, then know that you’re experiencing an authentic relationship to your psyche in an honest and at least somewhat awakened manner.

Heavy decisions cannot be easily balanced because authentic growth requires authentic conflict, and it’s normal to feel torn between the major choice-points of your life.

You’re stretched beyond comfort, with both arms grasping towards the necessary sacrifice of opposing directions.

Centred in your chest, your heart endures the strain of your indecisive limbs while you stumble through the scattered landmarks of your inner monologue.

I know the tension is terrible, but take comfort in the fact that your inner world is meant to feel like an internal civil war at times.

As witness and participant, you will separate the small truths from the big truths and your synthesis will be worth the struggle.

Sculpted as you stumble, remember you are blessed in your trials of transformation.

Jordan