Self censorship is the silent killer of your heart, and I’m not talking about repressed rage or venting your feelings without restraint.

I want to talk about your regrets.

Not saying the honest thing.

Not doing the honest thing.

Not being the honest self.

I feel privileged to have been trusted with the wounds and hopes of men and women who’ve shown me their hearts during four-month mentorships.

I’ve heard countless stories of loss and abuse, and these moments are understandably upsetting, but some of the saddest stories are the mournful sighs of self-censorship.

If you’re like me, you anchor your individuality in ways that go beyond travel, fashion and musical tastes.

These things are wonderful outlets for expression, but I believe that psychological authenticity is about nourishing the spiritual and material pursuit of living in calibration with your inner vision for who you could be if you followed your heartfelt aspirations.

Healing self-censorship doesn’t mean getting angry with yourself or other people, and it doesn’t mean unlicensed permission to let everybody know ‘what you really think about them’ in a series of infantile and inflammatory outbursts.

I don’t need you to start a protest, challenge an old family member out of nowhere, or rage against the social and political machine.

I know that rebellion can be cathartic, and I know it can feel likewise liberating to rebel against your own outdated thoughts and behaviours when they’re no longer helpful, but white-hot rebellion is not the most inspired step towards authentic expression.

Life is lived in the simple space between big talks and big decisions, and I believe that the beating heart of self integrity is found through the harmony of your internal polarities.

Honour your truth, as determined by the many and multiple truths of your multiple parts, as expressed in temperance with your central adult ego through a healthy blend of self compassion and ethical discipline.

What does this mean in practice?

Personally speaking, I spent the majority of my teens and early 20s diminishing my inner voice and pretending to be less intense than I actually was.

The self censorship fragmented me into sickness.

I hated pretending that I didn’t want to keep learning.

I know it’s not normal to need to read a dozen books on a topic to feel like you’ve been given a reliable account of what’s actually happening, but I have informational trust issues and believe that healthy scepticism is the prerequisite for the genuine joy you feel when you’re searching for truth as you thread new ideas and concepts together.

I’ve never been convinced by people who speak in firm dualities.

I’ve spent a long time struggling with the stress of trying to find truth amidst opinion, especially my own opinions when it feels like both sides could be seen as equally true.

Ultimately, it doesn’t take very much inner work to realise that there is a nation inside your heart with many parts and factions holding firm to their particular beliefs and convictions.

It reminds me of when I was first introduced to the concept of ‘historiography’ at university, which means the investigation of how history is written by historians and biographers.

Most people think of history as facts on a timeline, but culture is primarily about beliefs, feelings and emotional perspectives, and this principle holds true in terms of personal psychology.

There isn’t a neat timeline of facts and important dates in your self development, and many of your internal conflicts are intangible quarrels between various parts of your psyche.

There are many points of truth inside you, which creates many possible pockets of self censorship, but your essence is discernible and your soul has its own voice.

Your integrity whispers to you in the night.

You know where to find the truth of your heart.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you are no fool to the many moments of gut wrenching hesitation when you step out of character and disgrace your true potential in pursuit of small goals and small feelings.

You deserve better from yourself, and I’m not talking about putting yourself down in some form of parental punishment or societal comparison, but rather the courage to break the censorship.

Whatever you do today, I want you to start relaxing the unconscious suffocation of your soul so that you can experience the love and pride of making daily decisions which feel like you.

The real you, the one who felt these words.

Jordan