Anger isn’t always negative, but many people are making themselves sick because they’ve repressed all of their high-charge emotions without consideration for the possible benefits of healthy and appropriate anger.

Sometimes anger is appropriate, and sometime it isn’t - what I’m suggesting is eliminating the black-or-white thinking which artificially suffocates your emotional range.

Feeling anger doesn’t mean venting without limitation, there’s a time for containment, but containment isn’t repression and you shouldn’t be compulsively covering-up your feelings.

Maybe you have a good reason to be angry?

Maybe something happened which you should be mad about?

You can probably remember a time where somebody crossed your boundaries or openly disrespected you in a combative way… the healthy and attuned response would be to feel at least some internal frustration, and maybe considerable anger if the situation was extreme.

I’ve met many people who suffer with chronic sickness, inflammation or anxious tensions who have a deep well of unexpressed rage which they wouldn’t or couldn’t express at the time of wounding… the most common examples are the many overlapping moments in childhood when your anger was scolded and punished in a blanket manner.

From my perspective, it seems obvious that there is a place for well-placed anger, and being overly-nice to people who are hurting you is likely a survival strategy or trauma response - it’s a way of keeping yourself safe - and this pattern is especially concerning if you still struggle to say no and stand up for yourself.

I’m not saying that you should shout at people or lose control, but there is power in learning how to vent your old wounds with forceful expression in a safe space. Martial arts is great for self-therapy, heavy lifting is another popular option.

We’re not children who need black-and-white emotional rules.

Anger isn’t bad, and no emotion is evil.

Anger arises with lessons to share, and it’s our responsibility to listen to the deeper undercurrents of anger in regards to our safety and self esteem needs.

Jordan