Your words are weak because you know you’re weak, but your words will feel stronger when you know that you’re stronger.

This statement is controversial and unpopular in the world of positive affirmations and ‘fake it til’ you make it’ self development, but it is simply impossible to shift your identity overnight.

Your self identity is anchored in both your body and your relationships, and neither the personal nor interpersonal aspects of your existence can be shifted instantly. Your body has a history, and your family and friends aren’t going to see you differently simply because you decide to see yourself differently.

You can’t think yourself out of your historic life experiences, and your quality of self perception has major implications for practical issues such as setting healthy limitations on harmful substances or boundary setting with other people.

Boundary setting is a great example for exploring this question of identity shifts because most people fail to understand that a meaningful and reliable boundary cannot be built or maintained unless you genuinely value your time and energy.

You can’t bypass your reputation with yourself, and you can’t trick yourself into believing you’re worth more than you think you’re worth.

Tactics and strategies are only as reliable as the person who uses them.

Don’t get me wrong: tactical boundaries are essential for diminishing negative people or the frequency of negative situations in your life, but I recommend looking deeper into questions of low self worth & low self esteem if you want to develop rock-solid boundaries which can withstand the challenges of the world.

Deep strength is an embodied character trait, and permanent identity shifts cannot be achieved without a multi-layered process of trauma release and shadow integration, to say the very least.

Your ability to establish and maintain a boundary is directly correlated to the health of your inner world - your boundaries extend from your essence, and your insides become your outsides.

Please watch out for teachers or creators who offer quick solutions to deeply complex psychological problems.

Jordan