Should you cut them off? Ending a relationship with a bad friend, bad lover or bad family member is extremely difficult, but I'm here to give you the courage and confidence to move forward without them.

These words are heavy, and I’m writing for the people who’ve already spent months delaying the inevitable.

You’ve spent months ignoring the truth.

You’ve spent months enduring the hurt.

Sometimes you need to end things because sometimes people don’t listen.

Sometimes you need to end things because people aren’t capable of getting better.

Sometimes there’s a history of mistreatment or manipulation which leaves you feeling trapped or unable to make positive life changes - this is the worst kind of relationship: chronic conflict, perpetual unsafety, week after week of disrespectful interactions.

No matter the truth of your bad situation, it’s very difficult to consider cutting somebody off unless you know you’ll be able to get out without getting sucked back into unconscious dynamics, trauma bonds or otherwise being plagued and pestered by their lingering presence - you can mute their messages, but you can’t mute their presence in your psyche.

You’ve got too much history, too many threads, and it won’t be easy to untangle the mess you’ve made together… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort to pause and reflect on the health of your relationship for 2025 and beyond.

Practically speaking, if you’re attempting to initiate and maintain a permanent boundary, then I want you to remember that the breakup process is likely to be far more messy than simply telling people what you do or do not want to happen and expecting them to respectfully follow your wishes - most people don’t listen, they usually stay the same, and sometimes they get worse.

The truth is brutal, but you shouldn’t expect the other person to magically enter into their best behaviour during the breakup.

My best, most practical advice for anybody who is thinking about creating permanent relationship boundaries is to systematically withdraw your projections and scattered energetic investments.

Let the dream die, and start focusing your energy on improving your self esteem and self respect as your enduring, and top priority.

Get your finances and practical affairs in order, but don’t rush into the difficult conversation if you need time to prepare.

You can pull off this transition, and you’ll need skill and faith to get through to the other side.

Genuine self love and self respect are a life-changing inner work, and I want you to feel like you care enough about yourself to do the difficult boundary building and prioritise your own best intentions for 2025.

This won’t be a quick process - it will take months to maintain the healthy distance and put yourself back together - but I’m writing these words to encourage the people who’ve forgotten the feeling of safety and empowerment in their relationship.

Check the comments for support.

Share your story.

We got this.

Jordan

P.S. If you’re not going to end it, then fix it.