There are many people who mistakenly believe that self-love is synonymous with universal self-compassion and non-discerning acceptance of all things, but this is a dangerously incomplete idea which shouldn’t be applied to complex issues like inner child work.

Sentimental love is weak, and it's especially inappropriate when it comes to integrating negative or damaging family experiences which often take place in unstable emotional environments.

Children need BOTH flexibility and structure.

Children need BOTH mother energy and father energy.

Children need BOTH acceptance and non-acceptance.

Some parents are overly-punishing in their discipline, but emotional resolution isn’t found in abandoning all forms of structure, rules and internal regulations.

Listen to your inner children, but don’t treat all their complaints as equally important or give your inner child the ability to make adult decisions which are beyond their capacity.

Practically speaking, I want you to take time to create loving rules and loving structures which establish the conditions of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

Embrace the necessity of no-go-zones, and create firm structures which ease the anxieties associated with unclear boundaries.

Ultimately, if you want to heal your inner child, then give them holistic love in the form of both unconditional self compassion and conditional self respect, which isn’t the same as simply accepting yourself as you are without taking time to reflect on better directions and demand higher standards based on loving principles.

It’s important to listen to your inner child, but please remember to give them balanced love in an informed style which mimics and replicates the complimentary approaches of the ideal mother and the ideal father.

Peace grows in the garden of safety, and all children deserve to roam within safe and reasonable limitations.

Jordan